MARY: Since 1970, the Federal Witness
Protection Program
has relocated thousands of witnesses,
some criminal, some not,
to neighborhoods all across the country.
Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute
distinguishing them from the rest
of the general population.
And that is, somebody wants them dead.
I can't do this anymore, Jay.
Can we do this Iater? PIease. I'm a Iittle
under the gun right now.
No, I need to know that you're going to stop.
I need to know that you have stopped.
Stopped what, Marci?
What is it that you want me
to do now?
Stop seeing her! My God! When did you turn into this?
When did you become so needy?
Fine. Okay. I'II stop. I mean,
I have stopped.
But she's the publicity director
for the museum.
Our paths are going to cross
from time to time.
You get that, right? You just need to grow up.
You're right.
You are right.
So, what are you doing?
I thought you didn't want to know about this.
I changed my mind.
Okay. I'm getting these ready to deliver to
some overseas investors.
(DRILLING)
Do they belong to the museum?
No. I acquired them from a Iocal
private collection.
By 'acquired,' you mean stole?
Good God. Look, just focus on this, okay?
I mean, these are worth two and a half million,
of which our take is ten percent.
Now, if I do not get these ready and off to the harbor
in the next half hour,
some very bad people are going to do some
very bad things to me.
Any more questions, Marci?
Uh, no. That should do it.
FBI. Jay AIIen, you're under arrest.
So, is there anything about what we just covered
you don't understand?
No. I think we've got it.
Good. What about you?
Hey! Pay attention.
Hey. What?
Is there anything about what we just covered
you don't understand?
No. Good. Well, then,
congratulations.
You're the first people in the history of WITSEC
without questions.
Thank you. Thank you so much
for saving our Iives.
This is going to be great. I know it. Excuse me.
I have to go to the restroom.
(WHISPERING) So, when does Kay get here?
Who's Kay, Stan?
(SHUSHING)
Probably best if Marci doesn't know.
You've got to be kidding me. This schmuck gets to bring
his mistress into the program?
Apparently, the schmuck's got juice.
It's part of his deal with DOJ.
What about Marci's deal?
She orchestrates this whole thing, she brings
them into the program,
and this is how they repay her?
Man, that's rough, even by DOJ standards.
Actually, this is how I repay her.
Shut your hole.
Come on, Stan. She thinks she's getting a fresh start
with this asshole.
I can't help that.
What am I supposed to do? Smile to her face
while I help him get Iaid?
(CLEARS THROAT) Not exactly how I would
have phrased it, but, yes.
Yeah, well, I won't. I swear I'II quit my job before
I'm part of any of this.
(SIGHS)
So, is there anything about what we just covered
that you don't understand?
No? Good. Sign here.
MARY: It's funny how things like
mortgage payments
and a desire to not eat cat food
can get between a person and their principles.
Damn, I hate principles.
If there's one thing working in Witness Protection
has taught me,
it's that people hate change.
And we all say we want to change.
Get thinner. Quit smoking. Learn to speak Portuguese.
But we don't. For better or worse,
our habits define us.
We turn the pages of the same tattered script
over and over.
(EXCLAIMS)
Clinging to our well-rehearsed routines like barnacles.
See? We'II have you on your feet in no time.
Good as new.
Right.
And nothing rankles us more than having
to learn new lines.
Listen to me. This is just
a minor setback.
Lots of people tear ACIs.
I know.
Listen, I know this is a huge imposition,
and I really appreciate you...
You know.
It's not an imposition. Why would you even say that?
Anyway, it will just be for a couple of days
until the swelling goes down.
Then, I'II go back to my place.
Raph...
It's okay. It's Iike you said, 'This is as far as we go.'
PIease don't throw that in my face.
Okay? What's going on between you and me
and what's going on
with your knee, they're two separate issues,
and I can only deal with one at a time.
I'm sorry. I don't want to argue.
We're not arguing. Geez.
I'm sorry, Raph. I do want to take
care of you. Really.
And the rest, I just...
What?
Can we please just deal with this for now?
Sure. Good.
I've got to get to this work thing.
(DOOR OPENING)
What the hell are you doing here?
(SIGHS) Oh, crap.
I was invited, which is more than you can say.
Where am I supposed to watch TV?
This was a mistake. I should go.
Lie down. You're not going anywhere.
Brandi, Raph is welcome to stay as Iong as he wants.
So, why can't he stay in your room?
Because.
Because I don't have to explain myself to you
in my own house.
Oh, good answer.
So, what? Now, we're a nursing home for
washed-up Mexican pitchers?
I'm a Dominican shortstop.
Mmm.
Yeah, there's a distinction.
Put them down.
Ooh. At Ieast they gave you
the good stuff.
Brandi, I said put them down.
Ow, ow, ow! Okay, I was just going to put them
in a safe place.
Okay, then. You two kids have fun.
He better not need any help going potty or whatever
because I'm not doing jack.
How is that different from the way you always act?
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Well, well. Look at you. AII upright and not dead.
And a matching sling, even.
Bet the Iadies dig that.
It's not without effect. This is fascinating.
AII these works were painted on scraps
of wood by a woman
who worked at the Iocomotive repair facility right here
in AIbuquerque
in the Iate 19th century.
That's great.
How about we say our hellos, stay just Iong enough
not to be rude,
and then get the hell out of Dodge? Deal?
What exactly is your beef with humanity?
I have no beef with humanity. It's people I can't stand.
JAY: How much cash did you bring?
(LAUGHING) I'm kidding.
Hey. Hot stuff. Can I buy you a drink?
Hey, Marci. Wow. Look at you!
AII pretty and glowy and...
Yeah. This is one of the best nights
I've had in years.
I just feel Iike I have my old Jay back.
He's fun and affectionate. And the art,
he's excited about art again.
That's great. I'm really happy for you.
We wouldn't have made it without you.
You know that.
Those first few months, you were Iike the glue
that kept us together.
Just call me EImer.
Hey, girls. How about a smile?
(LAUGHS) Hey.
More beautiful than Munch's Madonna.
And you're not exactly foie gras.
Whoa! Whoa!
Ow, ow, ow! Okay, okay, okay.
I'm not kissing you anymore.
Gross. Gross!
(MARCI LAUGHING) Who knows where
that mouth has been?
Mmm. I do.
Do you?
AII better.
On that note, I'd better go check our guests, make sure
they're well Iubricated.
Don't wander off.
Don't you just want to eat her up?
Today, I consider myself the Iuckiest man alive.
What are you on? I'm stone cold sober.
I'm healthier, happier, and wiser than
I've ever been before.
Which is why I need your help.
Here we go. I knew there had
to be an angle.
(WHISPERING) No. There's no angle.
This is strictly straight up.
Uh-huh.
Mary, I stand before you a changed man.
At Ieast, I want to be a better man for Marci.
She is so good and giving.
And she just deserves so much better than what
she's gotten back from me.
Okay. Go pee in this glass.
I want to make things right with her, Mare.
But I cannot do that with you-know-who around.
Kay? You want to break up with Kay?
Yes. Well, actually, I'd Iike you to break up
with Kay for me.
And however you choose to handle it is fine with me.
Just so Iong as you get her the hell out of AIbuquerque.
And don't think I don't appreciate it.
Casper! Bill! Come here.
Would you excuse us, please?
Listen to me, you crazy bastard.
As much as I would Iove to stop deceiving Marci,
sticking Kay on the next plane out of here
isn't that simple.
Why not? You brought her here.
Now, make her go away.
Hey, I didn't bring her here,
numbnuts.
I was forced against every fiber of my being to comply
with your immoral request.
And now, I'm requesting that you comply
with my moral request and make her disappear.
I don't understand why you're making this
so difficult.
There she is! The woman of the hour!
Again with the interruptions.
Mary, this is my patron saint,
Margaret Chapman.
Margaret, this is my good friend,
Mary Shepard.
Nice to meet you. And you.
Hey. Hey.
You think you're the only one here?
Take that outside.
Jay, Jay, Jay. Tell me how
you know Margaret.
Well, Margaret is responsible for all of this.
These paintings are in her collection.
They've been in her family for over 100 years.
Mmm-hmm.
It must be very difficult for you to part with them.
Not really. The proceeds go to charity.
And besides,
I've always thought of them as rather pedestrian
early American crap.
(LAUGHS) Oh. Thank God. I thought I was the only one.
Not hardly. Lovely to meet you, Mary.
And you.
Bye.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING ON TV)
(CLEARING THROAT)
You should get some water for that.
Hey, as Iong as you're going, could you bring me back
a beer?
Oh, good God.
(SIGHS)
CIumsy and a wuss. No wonder you couldn't
hack it in the pros.
(BOTTLES CLINKING)
Have you ever considered a career in
the nursing profession?
I tried, but I couldn't hack the science.
Or the drug screen.
But thanks so much for making me
feel bad about myself.
Tell you one thing, though.
I can sure as hell do a better job than whatever
retard wrapped that.
Let me see.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Maybe another time.
Relax. I used to date a guy who got stabbed. A Iot.
Enjoying the show?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, tell Jay what happens if he dumps Kay and
we move her out of town.
If you break up with Kay, she isn't the only one
who gets moved.
You and Marci have to be relocated, too.
Well, that doesn't seem fair.
It's a reasonable alternative to having the woman scorned
give your address to the folks
who want you dead.
Yeah. Oh.
So, by the way,
your program says that the artist
painted her works
on planks of poplar taken from the railyards?
Yeah. So?
So, it should read planks of cottonwood,
since that is, in fact, on what they're painted.
I'm quite certain they're painted on poplar.
And I'm absolutely positive they're painted on cottonwood.
Thanks for the input, but I think I know my art.
Apparently not as well as I know my wood. Don't.
KAY: Wow.
This is some party.
Oh, isn't that...
Kay. Oh, God. We have to
get her out of here.
Oh! Jay! I guess my invite got Iost
in the mail, huh?
Is that what happened, Jay? Kay?
What are you doing here? Jay, why is she here?
Oh, honey, honey.
Did he forget to tell you?
See, he moved me here so we could be together.
Oh!
(MARCI SHOUTING)
Now, Marci... Get off of me!
(MARCI AND KAY GRUNTING)
Marci, no! Marci. Let me at her!
Marci. Come on.
Liar.
It's okay, baby. I'm here.
Get out of here.
What is wrong with you?
KAY: Baby...
Go!
Okay, folks. Show's over. Nothing to see here.
Go back to your champagne and mid-19th century
folk art.
I'II just check on her.
MARY: Hey, Stan. It's Mary.
Imagine my surprise when Kay Swensen showed up drunk
at Jay Arnstein's gallery
and got into a fistfight with Marci Arnstein.
I mean, who could have possibly predicted that
deceiving a witness
by helping her husband commit adultery
with his tramp mistress would end badly?
You'd have to be a genius to see that one coming, right?
Anyway, Stan, I'II need immediate relocation
authorizations. Call me. Bye.
You've got to Iove the ironic phone message.
Did Kay get home all right?
'AII right' being a relative condition,
but, yes. Pie?
This whole damn mess is my fault.
I should have just said, 'Sorry, Stan.
I won't be party to this,'
and accepted the consequences.
You know, it's not Iike I had
a gun to my head.
Actually, a gun to your head wouldn't have made you
any Iess culpable.
An immoral decision made under the duress
of mortal peril
is still an immoral decision.
Understandable, yes. Forgivable, perhaps.
But still definitely immoral.
I'm just saying. Anyway, they just would have
gotten someone else to do it.
Eat your pie. Pie makes everything better.
It does help.
(RINGING)
House of pie. Yeah, it is.
When? Where? Is he dead?
We're on our way.
Somebody shot Jay Arnstein.
MARSHALL: I need you to track down a Special Agent Frawley
out of Manhattan.
Oh, God.
Jay. Jay. Jay, can you hear me?
Jay, it's Mary. Can you hear me?
Who did this to you, Jay?
Just tell him our boy was shot.
I know what time it is. Just get him on the phone.
Who did this, Jay? Who did this to you? Jay!
Hey. End of the road for you.
Keep him isolated, under guard, 24/7.
Full security detail. And get the names of all
attending MDs and nurses.
No one else gets near him.
I've got to move Marci.
And? And Kay. Come on.
They're both in police custody.
Arrested?
Not so far, but definitely detained.
At Ieast they're off the street. Anything on the
art-smuggler side of this?
Waiting to hear back from Frawley.
Interpol rates the European connection highly unlikely.
What's Ieft of the smuggling ring is in prison
or under surveillance.
That just Ieaves the American side
to worry about.
Or Kay. Or Marci.
Marci didn't do this.
You don't have to convince me.
But if the AIbuquerque PD
doesn't share your conviction, you got
a plan to get them out?
If neither are arrested, I don't need a plan.
They're coming with me.
And if they are arrested?
Then, we cooperate with all Iocal Iaw
enforcement agencies,
as is our obligation.
I do Iove when you talk protocol.
(WHISPERING) Watch me work.
Hey, what are you, the only cop in AIbuquerque?
Marshals. Love the new uniforms.
Yeah. It's the new wave in fashion-forward
Iaw enforcement.
Mary, they are keeping me here against my will.
Will you tell this moron I have diplomatic immunity?
Kay, sweetie, I'm sure Detective Dershowitz
has a very good reason
for keeping you here.
Detective, is my friend Kay under arrest?
No. Not so far. Though shooting her
has crossed my mind.
Either of you want coffee?
I'm good. I would absolutely
Iove a cup.
For future reference, diplomats have
diplomatic immunity.
You're in Witness Protection and have no immunity
from anything whatsoever.
Can you see the difference there?
Why don't you come on back here with me?
Mmm. Thanks. That's great.
Yeah, the sunny disposition act is about to put me
in a diabetic coma.
Fine. Where's Marci?
I assume one or both of these people
belong to you.
Belong to me?
Are these people protected witnesses?
I can't tell you that. We're done.
Bobby, wait. Wait.
I'II share everything I know about the events
of this evening with you,
but you know I can't talk about you-know-what,
so please don't ask.
AII right, fine. What do you know
about tonight?
AImost nothing. How about you?
Good night, Inspector.
I'm serious. I was a guest at the opening Iike everybody
else. I saw what they saw.
So, then, you're not here in any official capacity?
Did I say that?
You know what? I don't have time for this.
You go talk to your friend, then you come back
and see me.
The other one's in there.
You really made me work for it this time.
I respect that.
Marci.
What happened?
Is Jay dead?
No.
He's in surgery.
Listen. What happened? Did you shoot Jay?
(SNIFFLING) No, of course not.
When can I see him?
Not for a while until we know who shot him.
The police think I did it. They took my dress
for evidence.
You were supposed to be my friend.
You knew about her all along. You brought her here.
Marci, whatever you think about me,
I absolutely deserve.
But Iisten to me, if the police Iike you
for this shooting,
I'm the best friend you've got right now.
So, please tell me what happened
so I can help you.
(SIGHING)
I was at the front of the gallery,
and then I heard a shot come from the back office.
And I screamed and I ran back.
And Jay was on the floor and he was covered in blood.
Was Jay having any problems with anyone?
Maybe someone at the party?
There was some guy there who was smoking
and I thought, under the circumstances,
Jay seemed unusually hostile.
I don't know. I don't know who
that would be or...
I'm not involved in the gallery business.
Okay.
Try to hold on, okay?
I'm going to get you out of here.
Oh, God.
I'm telling you, Bobby, she's incapable of this.
Really? 'Cause she just found out about his mistress,
she was covered in his blood, and she's got no alibi.
In this business, that's the trifecta.
Okay. Well, then, why haven't you
arrested her?
Because we haven't found our murder weapon,
and my D.A. doesn't Iike circumstantial cases.
Then, I'm putting her and Kay into
protective custody.
(LAUGHS) You know, technically,
I don't need the D.A.'s approval
to arrest her.
And technically, if they're here, I'm here.
Every waking minute,
sticking my federally authorized nose into every
aspect of your investigation.
Is that what you want?
I need to know where they're being
kept at all times.
You know I can't do that.
(SIGHS) Jesus, you've got to
give me something.
How about this? If you issue the arrest warrant,
I will turn her over to you.
And you'II make both of them available
for further questioning.
Deal. Deal?
It's a good thing you're hot.
You think I'm hot?
Damn, girl, you didn't know?
Thank you.
There will be a security team posted in the parking Iot
at all times.
No. No. See, I have Iife-threatening
allergies.
Dust, pollen, smoke, dander, all of which
seem to be coating
every inch of this room.
God. I can already feel my throat swelling shut.
Here. These are items I will need from my home
if I'm expected to survive these conditions.
'Hypo-allergenic sheets, humidifier, gin.'
Cigarettes? I thought you were allergic to smoke.
Good point.
Smokeless ashtray.
Oh, boy.
Okay, thanks.
He's in ICU. The doctor said
the next 24 hours will tell.
PIease. You've got to take me to him.
I will as soon as it's safe. But I need the keys to
your house and the gallery.
Thanks.
Marci.
I want you to know how bad
I feel about this.
How bad I felt the whole time.
Oh, geez. I am so sorry.
It never occurred to me that helping my husband
cheat on me would make you feel bad.
Wow. I must be a really selfish bitch.
(EXCLAIMS)
Okay. You got my attention.
They're sliding pants.
I'II bet they are.
(HUMMING)
Uh-oh.
Chico, what's this?
That's nothing. Put it back.
You sly dog. PIease.
Oh, my God. This is beautiful!
Who knew you actually had taste?
Brandi...
Don't worry. Your secret's
totally safe with me.
Unless, of course, I get my drunk on,
then all bets are off.
Can you please put it away?
I will, as soon as you tell me when and how you plan
on proposing to my sister.
And just a word to the wise, okay? No skywriting,
no scoreboards, all right?
And whatever you do, don't put it in her food
'cause Mary hates that kind of crap.
I already asked her. You did?
Oh.
Oh, no.
Poor Chico.
MARY: When something bad happens to a witness,
the first thing every WITSEC inspector does
is look for how he or she might have screwed up.
Was I somehow responsible? Could I have prevented it?
If it turned out Marci Arnstein shot
her husband,
I was pretty sure the answer was staring me in the face.
Your work thing run Iate?
Hey. Good morning.
Yeah, someone got shot, so I spent the night
at the hospital.
Listen, I've got to change and head back out.
Do you need anything?
No. Your sister's taking good care of me.
I'm so sorry. I'II talk to her.
I'm serious. She's been great.
Actually, she's very nurturing.
Look at the job she did wrapping my knee.
Really? Wow. Mmm.
Good. I'm glad.
Go back to sleep.
It's about time. I was up all night,
itching and wheezing.
I hope this fills the void.
What is that supposed to mean?
Hey! Hey!
Hey, don't you get all enigmatic with me,
all right?
You are just a civil servant. A mailman with a gun!
What void?
(CAR BEEPS)
MARY: The first rule of police work is,
'When in doubt, review the crime scene.'
Okay, truth is, I have no idea what the first
rule of police work is.
But if memory serves, it has something to do
with keeping your shoes polished
to a glossy sheen.
Jesus, Marci. What are you, moonlighting
as a janitor?
(DOOR OPENING)
U.S. Marshal. Freeze!
(SIGHS)
Hi.
You know you're contaminating my crime scene, right?
Let me tell you something. I know how to process
a crime scene.
Oh, yeah? Then, where are your booties?
Yeah. That's what I thought. You don't even
know about booties.
I know about booties. Uh-huh.
Put these on.
You carry extra booties?
So, does your reexamining of the crime scene mean
you've changed your mind about Marci's guilt?
I never made up my mind in the first place.
If I did, she'd be in jail.
I'm glad to hear you're at Ieast
considering other options.
Doesn't mean I won't be stunned if it turned out
she didn't do it.
Whoa. You found something?
Whoa.
MARY: Yeah, right?
BOBBY: You think that's drawn to proportion?
Maybe that's one of those perspective things,
where the objects in front
appear Iarger than the ones in back.
Yeah, that's probably it.
I've seen this guy before.
Who? Mr. Anaconda?
No. Him.
He was at the party.
Marci said she didn't know him
or anyone else there.
Hmm.
(GLASS BREAKING)
(FIRE ALARM RINGING)
(EXCLAIMS)
No!
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
PIease tell me that you know what key opens that door.
Okay, what is taking you so Iong? Can't you
go any faster?
I could, but then I'd miss the fun of watching you
Iapse into hysteria.
(STAMMERING) Okay, I'm not hysterical, okay?
I am baking. There is a difference.
Damn it! I Iost my place.
Okay, I'm going to shoot the Iock.
Look out.
No, no, no, no! Don't do that.
That only works in the movies.
You're more Iikely to jam the deadbolt
in place. Damn it!
PIease tell me you didn't Iose
your place again.
Six thousand frigging keys and not one of them
opens the back door?
Good God, woman. What are you doing?
Look out, out there!
(BOBBY COUGHING)
I guess that does work.
(MARY COUGHING)
Just thought I'd Iet you know, these are definitely
Molotov cocktails.
You're very Iucky.
Thanks for the update, Captain.
No problem.
Anyway, I think we can assume that the shooting
and arson are connected.
Well, that eliminates Marci. She's under 24-hour
protection.
Unless she had an accomplice. Someone who she Iied
about even knowing.
(SIGHS) Oh, Marci. What did you do?
(SHOWER RUNNING)
Hey, what are you doing to this poor guy?
He's been here two days, and you haven't spent
two minutes with him.
MARY: I've been working. He understands.
And by the way, none of your business.
Uh, really, Mary? Does he understand?
Where did you get that?
I robbed his house. It was in his suitcase.
Where do you think I got it?
(TURNS OFF SHOWER)
You robbed his suitcase?
No, you nitwit. I was putting
his stuff away.
Yeah, well, don't read
too much into it.
And how come you're so concerned with
Raphael all of a sudden?
Because while you've been running around
with God-knows-who
doing who-knows-what, I've gotten to know him
a Iittle better, and...
And what?
And I've come to see that he's not totally terrible.
I'm happy to hear that. And thanks for helping out.
But, well, I don't know what I want,
except that I don't want to discuss it with you.
I don't know, you better figure it out soon,
'cause someone that great, or whatever, isn't
going to wait around.
Lunch!
Wait.
What is this?
Chicken salad on a baguette with garlic aioli.
You're welcome.
Explain the void remark.
I think you know.
Come in.
Don't just draw body parts, people.
Find the subject's essence.
Find it? I almost tripped over it.
This is a private class.
We'd Iike a word.
What's he make an hour? Or does he charge
by the foot?
(STUDENTS GIGGLING)
Stay focused, class.
What can I do for you?
Maybe you don't remember. We met at
the opening Iast night.
You're right. I don't remember you.
Where were you two hours ago?
Right here, working on a project.
Are you sure you don't remember me?
I was wearing this killer Iittle black number.
I Iooked hot.
Can anyone corroborate that?
Yeah. PIenty of people.
I meant his alibi. Oh.
No. Why would they need to?
Well, because that is when someone torched
Arnstein's gallery.
Why would I set fire to an art gallery?
Don't know. How do you know Jay Arnstein?
I didn't before Iast night.
That's interesting. He seemed to have
a strong dislike for you.
Any explanation for that?
None whatsoever.
What about Marci Arnstein?
I wouldn't know her if she fell on me.
Funny, 'cause she drew this.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, yes. Marci. Not much of an artist.
Better at other things.
Why did you say you didn't know her?
A gentleman Iikes to keep those things
to himself.
Especially when a married woman's
reputation is at stake.
What are these? Are these Doric, Byzantine,
something Iike that?
Actually, they represent a synthesis of CIassical
Greek and Native American.
They're really quite beautiful.
Powerful.
Mmm. AIive.
Yes.
It's almost human.
Yes. Yes. That's exactly the point.
Mmm.
Yeah, I can almost feel its pulse.
What kind of wood is this?
Cottonwood.
(EXHALES)
(LAUGHS) Wow.
Sorry. Dizzy. Would you excuse me?
I'm just going to step outside
and get some air.
(EXHALES)
(SOFTLY) What a magical place this is.
But can't you...
Can't you at Ieast allow for the possibility
that I'm the one
that's supposed to be with Jay,
not her?
(SNIFFLING) That ours is the true,
pure Iove?
Nope. Not possible. Our universe seeks order.
And I'm afraid, in this situation,
you represent entropy.
I don't want to represent entropy.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Excuse me.
Hey, what's up? I'm kind of in
the middle of something.
Hey, how sure were you those paintings were
done on cottonwood?
I grew up playing in a stand of cottonwoods.
It's a deciduous wood.
Quite strong, but at the same time, much
Iighter than, say, an oak.
So, if the artist actually did paint on poplar,
you would conclude...
The gallery paintings are fakes. Anything else?
No. That's it for now. Thanks, Poindexter.
Rock steady.
That's it. Let it out. This is tough stuff
we're doing.
You're right, you know? You're right.
I should have never stepped in the middle
of someone else's marriage.
And with the onset of wisdom
comes transformation.
I should have insisted he get a divorce.
Well, I don't think that's quite the direction
that we want to...
Make Iove to me, Marshall.
Okay. I can see we've still got
some work to do.
What happened, Marci?
The thing with Vidonne was a huge mistake.
It was a weak moment at the Iowest
point in my Iife.
I find myself in AIbuquerque with no friends,
a husband that will barely speak to me...
I just wanted some human contact,
some tenderness.
(SIGHING) Instead, I got Vidonne Guzonne.
And why should I believe you now?
I know you only know the Iying,
cheating Jay,
but when I met him, he was the nicest,
the most interesting, most intelligent man
I'd ever met.
And that's the man I thought
I was getting back.
Shoot Jay?
I'd rather cut off my own Iegs.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Marci Arnstein, you're under arrest.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used
against you in a court of Iaw.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford an attorney, one
will be appointed to you.
Let's go.
So, this is how we see it.
You and Marci were going to rip Jay off
and split with the money.
But then Jay found out, Marci shot him,
and you came back later to burn the evidence.
Interesting theory. Should I sign it?
It could be worth something someday.
You think it's a joke, huh?
Excuse me. Look.
That's it, Vidonne. Marci just confessed
and sold you out.
Is this the part where I'm supposed to break down
and tell you everything?
That would be helpful. You've been watching
too much Law & Order.
Yeah, he has a point.
And what's this? A written confession?
Look, we know you forged
those paintings.
The originals were done on poplar,
the ones in the gallery were on cottonwood,
your favorite medium.
PIease, I wouldn't dirty my brushes
forging that pedestrian early American crap.
What did you just say?
You called the paintings 'pedestrian
early American crap.'
Sorry. Didn't know you were a fan.
Can I have a word, please?
How dare you jack my interrogation.
Get over yourself. Marci didn't do it.
I'm sure of it.
Oy, God. Listen to me, Bobby.
In order for Vidonne or anyone else to
make credible fakes,
they would have needed access
to the originals, right?
I guess. So, who gave
him access?
Marci. When?
The paintings only got to the gallery days
before the opening.
Okay. So, maybe Jay was in on it too, and got
greedy at the Iast minute.
Or maybe he found out about the affair
and things got ugly.
I don't think so. Jay was turning
his Iife around.
He's not in the frame of mind to pull off
a scam Iike this.
But there is another person who could have
commissioned Vidonne
to forge those paintings.
Hi, this is Mary Shepard. Jay's friend?
We met at the gallery?
Right. Hi.
Yeah. Well, I'm sorry to call so Iate,
but I have some amazing news I knew you'd want to hear.
Well, they've arrested Jay's wife, Marci,
for the shooting.
I know. I know.
Yeah, but wait, here's the best part.
Jay woke up briefly and asked for you.
Well, no, he's sleeping now, but I have to go.
You should come by.
The doctors say it would be good for him.
It's no problem at all. Right, then. Bye-bye.
Lying comes easily to you, doesn't it?
Jay? Jay, can you hear me? Jay.
Oh, Jay. I...
I just want you to know that I feel terrible
about this whole mess.
It's just that I can't go to jail.
Anyway, um...
I'm sorry.
I really hope that this doesn't hurt.
(JAY SHUDDERING) Okay, okay, okay.
(EXCLAIMING)
(WHEEZING)
Help! PIease! Somebody! Something's wrong with Jay!
Hi, there. What you doing?
(STAMMERING)
Something's wrong with Jay. He started shaking and...
And... And...
I'm so glad you're here, 'cause you can...
Yeah, I think it was the poison
you injected into my IV.
It's very photogenic.
I'm really glad you could come.
(SIGHS)
MARY: Newton's first law of motion states,
'Objects in motion tend to remain in motion.'
Y'all drive home safely.
MARY: We are all objects in motion,
unwavering from our course until acted upon
by external forces.
So, how does an upstanding citizen
Iike Margaret Chapman
suddenly become a forger, a murderer, and an arsonist?
Easy. Her husband died and all his creditors
came calling.
So, she commissioned Vidonne Guzonne
to copy her art,
the idea being to burn the gallery,
collect on the insurance,
and sell the real paintings to a private
overseas collector.
Would have worked, too, if Johnny Cottonwood here
hadn't tipped Jay off to the forgeries.
Good night, Stan.
You know, you really don't have to do this.
When we speak of cleansing,
it's figurative.
More metaphorical than an actual soap
and water deal.
Yeah, well, I tend to take
things Iiterally.
MARY: And it was that same Marshall,
an agent of universal order with uncommon insight
into human frailty,
that blasted Kay Swensen off her lifelong
self-involved path
and out of the Witness Protection Program.
What's that?
Oh, it's pictures Jay took.
MARY: As for Jay Arnstein, he was an amoral
user of people,
a heartless cad, a chiseler, a skinflint.
And then a remarkable thing happened.
Jay Arnstein was hit with the stark,
graphic realization
that he had caused the one true, pure,
constant in his life,
his North Star,
the thing that allowed him to see
the good in himself,
to stray from her path.
It was Marci's infidelity that made Jay so determined
to change, to be a better man.
And in the strange, twisty way
of cause and effect,
it was the shared secret Jay and Marci kept from
each other of her infidelity
that opened Marci's heart to forgiveness,
and allowed them to move on together to another city
and another second chance.
And for others, it will take
more than a bullet
or infidelity or financial ruin to effect change.